


Come Down

by Lost_Wings



Category: Bloodlines Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: Blood, F/M, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Non-Explicit, One Shot, Sharing a Bed, Suicidal Thoughts, Talking, heights, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 02:48:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21067550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_Wings/pseuds/Lost_Wings
Summary: Sydney sits with Adrian when the darkness gets too much.





	Come Down

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this has a trigger warning for suicidal ideation and suicidal themes.

“Adrian,” I called letting myself into his apartment with the key he gave me.  
  
No reply.  
  
He was home, his car was parked outside and I couldn’t imagine him opting to take the bus anywhere. I wandered through the lounge, stopping to admire his gallery of art works. His style was quite abstract, splashes of colour and odd shapes. One drew my eye and I went over to look at it. The canvas was painted a light grey and a ball of yellow decorated with a purple swirl sat on the bottom of the canvas. A dark silhouette stood on a jagged line at the top. Dry black paint dripped down the canvas over the grey background, neatly avoiding the yellow ball. The effect was intriguing.  
  
“Adrian?”  
  
I sighed. After doing a quick check of the other rooms, I tentatively tapped on his bedroom door. No answer. I pushed it open, bracing myself.  
  
The room was empty.  
  
His quilt was on the floor along with one of his pillows as though he’d flung them off in hurry or… maybe a fit of spirit induced psychosis? There was a bottle of whiskey on his bed side table along with an empty glass. I stepped further into his room. His blind was down so I went to flick it up, finally letting sunlight in and that’s when I saw that his sheets were stained with dried blood.  
  
My heart rate picked up. Before, he not being here was a mere inconvenience to my schedule, now though it was serious. I went back out into the kitchen and ripped a page out of a sketchpad sitting on the couch.  
  
_Adrian,_  
_I stopped by while you were out. Please call me, I’m worried about you._  
_Sydney_  
  
I walked out locking the door behind me.  
  
“Sage?”  
  
Adrian’s voice. I looked around but I couldn’t see him.  
  
“Up here,” his voice sounded distant but I could still hear that he was slurring his words.  
  
I glanced up, only to be blinded by the sun in the clear sky.  
  
“Turn around.”  
  
I did, and finally saw him. He was standing on top of his apartment building, leaning against the concrete wall that separated him from a three story plummet.  
  
“Adrian!” I gasped.  
  
“Hey Sage!!” He waved gleefully and I imagined him swaying dangerously.  
  
I took a deep shuddering breath. This wasn’t right. I ran around the side of building until I found the fire escape. I hoisted myself up and climbed quickly. Part of me was terrified that when I got up to the top he would be gone, splashed like one of his paintings on the concrete below. I shivered and fought back tears.  
  
By the time I got to the roof I was breathing heavily, the blood pounding in my ears had nothing to do with the climb.  
  
Adrian stood there, still looking over the edge. He stepped up on the concrete ledge.  
  
I screamed.  
  
He turned back startled.  
  
“Sydney, what are you doing up here? Get down, it’s not safe.”  
  
My jaw nearly hit the ground.  
  
“Me? ME? What about you?”  
  
“It’s… it’s too hard,” he whispered.  
  
I nodded gently, “I know, I know.”  
  
I didn’t know how to do this. And I knew a lot of things but my Alchemist training hadn’t prepared me for a lot of the emotional battles I’d endured while I was here and they, based in facts and logic, certainly hadn’t prepared me for dealing with any form of mental illness.  
  
“Adrian, it’s okay.”  
  
“It’s not okay,” he bit back angrily. “How can you watch me suffer every day and say that? It gets better but then it always gets worse again!”  
  
“But you always push through it,” I said gently, walking over to him.  
  
“I’m tired.”  
  
My heart broke and I fought to remain calm. I needed to be the calm one.  
  
“I’m going to sit here,” I said, sitting on the concrete, leaning my back against the concrete wall he was standing on. I tilted my head back to look up at him. The glare of the sun obscured most of his face but I saw him glance down at me.  
  
“You’re going to sit there?” He asked dubiously.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
I itched to reach out and grab his ankle just to be sure that he wouldn’t jump but I didn’t want to spook him. So I sat there, concentrating on breathing and racking my mind for how to make this better.  
  
An hour went by in silence.  
  
“You must be getting burnt,” I tried.  
  
“Maybe it won’t hurt so much when I fall if I’m already fried.”  
  
I jumped up, “Adrian, stop this please!”  
  
He looked startled for a second before his face hardened and he ignored me, staring straight ahead.  
  
I sunk back down to my spot on the concrete, chastising myself. Losing my cool wasn’t going to do either of us any good. Inhale, exhale.  
  
Another hour went by and the sun was beginning to set. The sky was flooded with pale orange light, turning the clouds a dusty pink. It would have been pretty, in another moment. Today it made me sad. Sad that the darkness had consumed Adrian so much that it stopped him from seeing the beauty in the things around him.  
  
“It’s getting late, you should go,” he said breaking through my thoughts.  
  
“It’s getting late, but I’m staying until you come down,” I declared.  
  
Silence.  
  
“I’m staying until you come down,” I whispered mainly to myself, because he would come down. And he’d come down with me, using the fire escape, not over the side of the building in a free fall.  
  
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine. That feeling of falling, of having all that air one second and then hitting the ground and having none of it. Of being free for those last seconds.  
  
I sucked in a breath. My mind, I remembered telling Adrian once, was who I was and I couldn’t imagine something taking that away from me.  
  
The sun continued to set. The witching hour came and went and I couldn’t help but shiver as the night air settled around us.  
  
I shifted slightly on the concrete, my legs stiff and my back numb.  
  
“Sage?” Adrian sounded uneasy and it was the first thing he’d said in over an hour.  
  
I looked up at him but it was too dark so I responded, “Yeah?”  
  
“I think I’m ready to come down now.”  
  
_ I think I’m ready to come down now. _  
  
The words went off in my head like they were fireworks and my mind was the night sky. Actually no, that’s not quite right. The words broke through the dam wall, the one that was keeping the raging river of my emotions in.  
  
I sprang to my feet, adrenalin coursing through me again. Terror was now mixed with relief. Tears filled my eyes and I blinked them away.  
  
He stepped back off the ledge and turned to me. I offered my hand and he took it.  
  
Gently I pulled him over to the fire escape making him go first. I watched to make sure he wasn’t going to fall before I started climbing down with him. I should have kept him talking but my mind was frozen and I didn’t have the words.  
  
When I heard his feet softly thud on the ground, I noticed that I was shaking. Relief washed over me like a hot wave. I let the tears come.  
  
In the dark Adrian couldn’t see them.  
  
“Okay?” I breathed.  
  
“Yes,” he said quietly. “For now.”  
  
“You’re the strongest person I know,” I said reaching for his hand as I unlocked the door to his apartment.  
  
I flickered on the light to see him shaking his head at me. I just nodded emphatically.  
  
“What can I do to help?” I asked, thinking that I should have asked that on the roof all those hours ago.  
  
“I just… I just want to sleep,” he exhaled.  
  
That I could do. I led him to his bedroom.  
  
“You could sleep with me,” he suggested slyly, but it came across tired and without his usual wit or charisma.  
  
In that moment though I knew I would.  
  
“Come on,” I said.  
  
When we reached his room, I suddenly remembered the blood. We both stared at it, well I did. Adrian’s look was more of a glare.  
  
“I tried…” he shook his head.  
  
“Okay,” I breathed. “Let’s change your sheets. Do you have clean ones?”  
  
He did and together we changed his sheets. I watched Adrian wash his face in the bathroom, not trusting to leave him alone. I don’t know where the resolution had come from but I needed to keep him safe I realised. I _wanted_ to keep him safe.  
  
He lay down on his bed and went to pull the covers up.  
  
“Wait, I’m coming too.”  
  
“What? Sage…”  
  
“I’m just going to lie here with you, and sleep, _just sleep_.” I rolled my eyes at the brightness in his eyes. Then the light dimmed and he suddenly turned serious.  
  
“Thank you, Sydney.”  
  
“Of course,” I murmured, feeling sleep already pulling at me.  
  
“Can I hold your hand?”  
  
I opened my eyes and turned to look at him.  
  
He looked so young, and hopeful and sad.  
  
I nodded.  
  
He threaded his fingers through mine.  
  
“You keep me grounded Sage, you keep me here.”  
  
I squeezed his hand, very grateful that that’s where he still was. Here.

**Author's Note:**

> This work is inspired by a song I fell in love with: [Come Down by Noah Kahan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hX1NQVv9xFI)


End file.
